understanding surrender. part 1

My children are sleeping and I am awake. An occasion I’d like to say was common but as of late~ it’s not. Both I and my youngest have nasty colds which makes for long nights of uncomfortable sore throats and coughing. Honestly I’m surprised I’m up before them today.

So hey~ hello. I know it’s been awhile. 2+ years to be exact. You might be interested to know that we’ve “landed” and that it looks differently than the last time we talked. It’s amazing what the universe throws at you when it knows you can handle it. Also perhaps, when it knows the change you need is not one you will purposefully walk through fire to get to.

girls home

Contentment

I’m going to summarize quite a bit, and throw in random photos to make it interesting.

The land we so loved that inspired our “Feed the Dream” campaign fell through. (Will have to do some updating on the site~ patience, please.) We just could not make it work as the owner had acquired a partner that wasn’t on board with our vision. I cannot hold it against them. It was a beautiful spot of earth and he wanted more than we could offer. So we let go and surrendered (<— pay attention to that word~ it’s a big one.) We decided to dig in to our little urban homestead and community and thrive. And oh, we did! Through the quirks and obstacles, we fell in love again with our little west side cottage and our village of inspirers. Both of our work thrived as well. We found contentment. And then one morning, as it happens, Niko looked out the kitchen window and started dreaming again. I offered~ what if we just begin to look again with no expectations, just for fun. Within the hour, like magic, we stumbled on a property that made our mouths water. Closer this time~ a mere 2 hour drive as opposed to the 6 hour drive of Cedaredge. We made an appointment to see it and we were awe-struck. It wasn’t 100% perfect, of course. But the water! A rushing creek right behind the tiny house. Decent acreage to play and explore. Dreamy possibilities indeed. We met the owner and were a bit put off energetically, but we made an offer and then a counter offer. And just like that~ here we go again.

the process

Preparing the house for sale, wild goats, and Clara after a hard days work.

From here we went through the taxing work of preparing our beloved little west side home for sale. It was bittersweet. The day we put her on the market we had 3 offers. We also got wind that the mountain edging the new property had caught fire.

We were not strangers to fire. Colorado Springs had seen its share of drought and heat and flame. Still does. We didn’t panic, but we watched. Our house sold to a lovely young woman within a week of putting it up for sale. We had one month until closing. The mountain still burned.

toward the end

Just before the house emptied and Leelu’s last hoorah in her hometown~ her 5th birthday party.

We had to consider the “what ifs”. Our house was sold. If anything, this was all a very clear sign it was time to move on. Our destination, however… My sister in law offered her home as temporary housing should things not go as planned. What is that saying? When you make a plan, god has another one. Totally botched that, but you get it. In a rush all our belongings went to storage. We’d hoped to be a bit discriminatory in our purging process but with the stress of the unknown and the back and forth with the owner of the property, it was put on the wayside.

The Hayden Pass fire was finally out after burning over 16,000 acres. It went right to the edge of the property. Though our relief may have been expected, we knew that the danger was not over. We had seen firsthand the aftermath of mountain fires in the way of devastating floods from springs and fall rains. We knew what was coming. The owner refused to believe floods were coming and once again, though we worked so hard~ almost as if (forgive the expression) beating a dead horse). We kept refusing to give up. We struggled with flood insurance and our lenders, fighting for this “dream” until just as expected~ the floods came.

Images from the Denver Post

Images from the Denver Post

You would think this would be it, right? We’d see the light and surrender and move on. But no. My husband, forever the optimist and visionary saw through the destruction and we continued to press on. However, the vision was no longer idyllic. We had fields of dangerous debris, flooded outbuildings, a creek that had completely changed its course, and years of prospective flash floods until the mountainside recovered.

Even after all this though, we attempted to negotiate a new deal. The owner refused to budge on the original sale price and once again we let go of a particular version of the dream.

And so, temporarily displaced and void of course~ we moved in with my sister in law. We had no idea what to do. This time SURRENDER was in full caps and screaming to be understood.

Little did we know this was all part of the plan.

(to be continued)

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>